3 Basic Elements of a Relationship with God
What we need and how God meets that need
I’ve heard people share their life stories about coming to know God many times. They usually distinguish between knowing about God and personally knowing Him.
I remember a young woman from Switzerland sharing this during a class I taught in a DTS course with YWAM in Jacksonville, Florida. I was so encouraged as she told her story with such freshness and sincerity.
How is knowing about God different from personally knowing Him?
A voice from heaven
Reading through the Gospel of Matthew again during my morning devotions, I came across the story of Jesus being baptized by John (see Matthew 3:13-17). John the Baptizer was preaching in the wilderness area east of Jerusalem by the Jordan River, telling people to “Repent!” because the Kingdom of Heaven was near.
As people came out to hear John, he challenged them to confess their sins and be baptized in the Jordan River. His message was strong and confrontational. He also told people that he (John) was the messenger for the coming Messiah (see Matthew 3:1-12).
When Jesus came out to be baptized, John realized who Jesus was and thought that he should be baptized by Jesus (see John 1:29-34). But Jesus insisted on it, so John proceeded to baptize Him in the waters of the Jordan River.
As Jesus came up out of the water, John saw the heavens open, the Holy Spirit come down as a dove and settle on Jesus, and he heard a voice from heaven.
Behold, a voice from heaven said, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17 ESV)
I had the privilege of baptizing my dad in the Jordan River many years ago. I also gave a brief message before the baptism based on this same text. The primary theme of that message spoke to my own heart.
I’ve shared this message with many people at various times in different settings over many years. But it also helped me see the concept of repentance in a clearer light.
Repentance is an attitude
What do you think of when you hear the term repentance? I’ve often heard people explain it as, “turning 180 degrees in the other direction” from where your life was headed. This may be true, but there’s more to it than that. Actually, there’s less to it than that.
Repentance is a heart attitude, not a one-time act.
The typical focus I hear about repentance is turning away from our sinful life to follow God. I came to realize it was more about turning to God, which will naturally pull us away from our former way of life as we follow Jesus. The lost (prodigal) son, found in the third of three parables in the Gospel of Luke, illustrates this.
A better way
When we focus on turning away from our former life, it’s easy to get stuck on the treadmill of a performance-based relationship with God. In other words, we think as long as we aren’t walking in the old ways and trying to do good, we’re okay with God.
This way of thinking and living is a trap. One we can never get out of because we’re dependent on our own efforts rather than the grace of God. It’s like a hamster on a wheel. We’re working hard on our own but not getting anywhere with God. We remain stuck in the same place over and over again.
There is a better way, a way that brings freedom. What the Father says at the baptism of Jesus provides some simple insight into this better way.
3 basic elements of a relationship with God
Going back to what John heard from that voice from heaven (the Father)—“This is my Son, whom I love—my Son with whom I am pleased” (Matthew 3:17 GW). I see three basic elements to having a personal relationship with God.
It’s a personal relationship
When we put our trust in Jesus as our Savior and Lord, we become children of God (Galatians 4:6-7). As obvious as this may seem, it is more of a theological concept for many people than a personal reality.
What the Father says about Jesus becomes true for us as Christian believers—“This is my son....” This isn’t a gender restriction—it’s a statement of adoption and legitimacy (see Romans 8:15-17).
It describes a new and different relationship with God than what was known under the Old Covenant (see Jeremiah 31:31-34). It is a personal relationship with the Father, just as Jesus modeled for us when He was on earth (see John 17:20-23).
God accepts us
An essential part of this personal relationship with God is that it’s based on God’s acceptance of us. Not our efforts or goodness, but His grace—His kindness and favor.
As the Apostle Paul stated it—
...To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace... (Ephesians 1:6-7 NKJV)
God’s acceptance of us by His grace is in response to our turning to Him in repentance (see 2 Corinthians 7:10). The Father declares to us what He said about Jesus—“... whom I love.”
God extends His approval to us
God’s favor and blessing upon us and our lives as His children is always based on His mercy and grace. God’s favor is never based on our goodness or good behavior.
Just as a newborn child is loved by his or her parents, we love the Lord because He first loved us (1 John 4:19). A newborn only responds based on the love shown to them. This is us as believers, and the Father says about us what He said about Jesus—“... with whom I am pleased.”
We respond with love to the Lord because of His gracious acceptance and approval of us as His children, as we put our complete trust in Him.
Our dilemma with self-esteem
Self-esteem—the valuing of our self-worth—was a big emphasis in American culture during the 80s. Having a sense of importance and purpose in life remains a crucial human value for everyone.
However, self-esteem often morphs into a concept of self-love as a means of self-acceptance to overcome shame, abuse, guilt, and other issues.
A sense of self-worth is typically based on our relationships with parents and significant others. But at some point, we all get let down by others, in the same way we let others down.
Basing our self-worth on our own redefining or reframing of our lives through self-affirmations is a fickle and feeble foundation for personal significance.
True self-worth
If we want a reliable, trustworthy basis for self-worth, it needs to have a firm foundation. Nothing and no one is more trustworthy than God.
Originally, humans were created in the image of God—imago dei (see Genesis 1:26-27). We are more than just animals or physical beings with personalities, emotions, and intellect. We are living souls.
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. (Genesis 2:7 KJV)
Humans were created for relationship with God.
This is why Jesus, the Son of God, was sent as the Son of man (see 1 Corinthians 15:45, 49)—to restore things to what God originally intended. This is the eternal purpose of Christ’s redemptive death on the cross and His resurrection from the dead.
Our highest value as a person is found in a personal relationship with God—our Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer (see Colossians 1:15-20). God calls each person to Himself through His love, which He showed by sending His Son. He does this through His Holy Spirit, as He speaks to our spirit—our inner being.
Have you heard God’s words of acceptance and approval personally?
The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God (Romans 8:16 ESV)
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “ Abba, Father.” (Galatians 4:6 NIV)
If you haven’t heard God’s Spirit speak to your heart, He’s waiting for you to respond to His love.